


Skydiving for Soulmates

by msmeadows



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Crack, Disney References, F/M, Fluff and Humor, I REGRET NOTHING, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msmeadows/pseuds/msmeadows
Summary: Or that time Steve got to be smug because Bucky jumped out of an airplane without a parachute





	1. Chapter 1

A solid 95% of the time Darcy would brag that she had the most badass job on the planet; she got to travel around the world on someone else's dime with her scientist, hang out with a very pretty GOD, and occasionally assist in saving the UNIVERSE from utter destruction. The other 5% however, was just shit. Piles upon piles of smelly shit Darcy had no pooper scooper to handle. Right now, for example, was a little bit of that 5% she and Jane had been kidnapped. Darcy had to forcibly knock her head back against the cement wall her to contain a snort and an eye roll. Their "kidnappers" she would totally use air quotes if she wasn't tied up were currently running around like a pair panicked chickens waiting for the fox to get in the coop. One of them, the blonde with brown eyes, had pissed his pants not two minutes ago when Iron Man loudly demanded entrance before he blew the "Fucking rusted iron door... Can you believe they have an iron door with the eye slot and everything? Steven! Steven come here, do you see this cliche bullshit? It's not funny Bruce I feel like I've entered one of capsicles movies!" There was the very distinct sound of flesh on flesh followed by a grunt.

"Damn it Barnes!"

'Ah' Darcy cast her eyes heaven ward 'SOMEONE decided Tony needed quiet time.'

Their other kidnapper, the blonde one was crying in a corner, seemed think it perfectly reasonable to pick Darcy up and fucking launch her at the rusted iron door complete with the eye slot and everything before trying to climb over Jane to escape through a window not even Spiderman could contort himself enough to fit through.

As the Avenger's poured through the door, only Tony stumbling over Darcy's sprawled form, she slurred loudly to Jane "I don't give a shit how much the monkey is he can't have my bananas!" Wait... She'd meant to demand hazard pay or hazard vacation time. Screw it she'd figure out later.

Bucky crouched down over the unconscious intern with crooked grin and gathered her up into his arms.

"You're gonna have one helluva headache when you wake up doll."


	2. Chapter 2

They were falling.

Darcy's mind hysterically supplied that they were falling from at least 30,000 feet up so she'd have ample time to figure out where the hell her life went so insanely wrong. Her body spiraled completely out of control 'death spin' while the silver armed man, who'd been RIPPED out of the fucking sky with her when Tony's jet had been fired on by God only knew because Stark literally pisses everyone he meets off, fell in a more graceful looking arc towards her with his hands outstretched. They collided with enough force to knock the wind from her lungs and to leave tender bruises on her arms as his hands clenched tightly around them.

"We're gonna die! We're definitely going to die! No way we survive this!" She shrieked.

"We're going to die and I'm quoting Disney! Don't tell Tony!" Alright so maybe she was a little more than hysterical, but to be fair she probably had a concussion and was PLUMMETING to her death, she felt this was reasonable excuse.

The silver armed man, names escaped her on good days god damn it, made a distressed sound before locking her eyes with his terrified ones. It did nothing to help her panic... At all. She felt his body shift and his legs come around hers to pull her body into a more streamlined profile to control their free fall.

The ground was so close.

She could make out individual trees!

Oh fuck this was it! 

She was going to die! 

She shut her eyes so tightly it burned.

A scream stuck in her throat as the ground raced up to meet them and then dislodged as they were forcefully tugged upwards. Daring to crack one eye open Darcy looked up into the dark black canvas of a parachute, then into the relieved eyes of the silver armed man.


	3. Chapter 3

"- had to throw you a parachute!"

"Shut up Steven at least I didn't jump on grenade!"

"Actually Steve's jumped out of an airplane before... Didn't even try to grab a parachute."

"You're not helping Natasha!"

"It's because I was trying to get him to talk a woman in accounting."

"You cannot be fucking serious!"

Darcy groaned lowly at the throbbing in her head, though she was pleased to note that at least some of the screaming was happening outside of her own mind, wouldn't look great on the Shield resume to go crazy after only one kidnapping. 

"Doll?"

"Shut the fuck up Stevie she's waking up!"

"Hey doll, think you could let me look at those pretty eyes for a minute? Kinda gave me a scare when you fainted on me... Again."

Darcy braved opening her eyes before slamming them shut to block out the excruciatingly bright light.

"Hurts," she managed to mumble pitifully.

"I know it does baby-"

Darcy's head snapped up and the world dipped as she stared at the silver armed man.

"Baby? Who the hell are you calling baby? Listen asshole you may get your jollies from rescuing interns in distress, but I have a name and a few endearments after one freakishly close call ain't gonna get me to ride your disco stick!" She leveled him with her most fierce glare for good measure.

Captain America fell to the floor and double over as he screamed with laughter.

"She's got you pegged Buck! Oh God I wish I had camera! Jarvis? Jarvis, please tell me you recorded this!"

Darcy watched, increasingly confused, as Captain America dissolved into uncontrolled laughter and repeatedly kicked one of the visitor chairs in his mirth. Buck?... Buck, Buck, Buck, where did she know that name? She squinted at the silver armed man as he glared at the good Captain.

"You're Bucky Barnes." 

He turned and gave her a half hearted grin.

"And you're my soulmate."

Darcy visibly foundered and almost tumped over the edge of the bed.

"No fucking way," it came out as squeaked statement more than an honest inquiry.

'Bucky' lifted his shirt revealing her distracted loopy handwriting scrawled down his side.

"Was always a fan of Disney, even saw a few of their pictures before the war."

"Oh.." Darcy pitifully replied then promptly leaned over the railing of her gurney and vomited all over her soulmates shoes.


End file.
